Dear E. Jean: I'm twenty-five, five foot one, and weigh between 98
and 100 pounds. For the last seven years I've made it my
lifestyle to workout regularly and eat healthy in order to
look the way I do.
But to the point: I can't get rid of the fat and
cellulite on my rump. It makes me very self-conscious when
I walk; even though clothes hide it, I know it's there. I
think if I got rid of it by having surgery, I'd feel better
about myself. My boyfriend says he'll stand behind whatever
I decide and he'll love me either way. He even agreed that
for as hard as I workout and as small as I am, I do have fat
on my rump that won't budge. I guess it's hereditary. Do
you think this is a good reason to have lipo or am I being
selfish and shallow? ----Self-Conscious
Dear Self: Selfish? Shallow? Ye Goddess, honey,
you'd be making a total ass of yourself if you didn't do it.
As you say, you'll "feel better," not to mention that your
fanny will be shrunk down tighter and leaner than two
bouncing soccer balls. However, liposuction will not remove
cellulite. Nothing (though doctors may be close to
discovering a surgical method) can remove those filthy
little dimple bags----indeed, not even the ASK E. JEAN GIANT
LEACH THERAPY (I fly to your house and attach huge forty-
pound leaches to the backs of your thighs), or the SPECIAL
ASK E. JEAN LEG BLAZE (I drive to your house in a Exxon
tanker truck, pour gasoline on all four of our thighs and
set fire to them with my zippo) will cure cellulite.
My friend just had her derriere done and I must say, she
looks delectable. But she first spoke with several women
who had the operation so she knew what to expect, and then
she interviewed the three best doctors. She also said it
hurt like the very dickens. So be prepared. And Good Luck!
Dear E. Jean: I moved away from home in my 20's
and was promiscuous and accepted money from men three
times. When I moved back in with my parents at age 28
(I was broke), it bore down on my conscience a great
deal and I told them.
Then my parents told every one I was "a whore."
That was twelve years ago. Today I waved at a young
single man in our church and he didn't acknowledge me.
His friend asked him why he didn't wave at me. He just
replied, "she's a whore."
I resent this! There is more to me than what I did
in my twenties! I've gone back to college and have made
straight A's. I support a little boy in Columbia
through ChildReach. I donated money to Jenny the
Elephant when she was very sick at the Elephant
Sanctuary in Tennessee. I volunteer for the Clean Air
Foundation. I am an excellent cook. I knit sweaters
and sell them. There is so much more to me, you see?
I have been going to this church for twelve years,
yet everyone there still regards me as "a whore." What
can I do to live this down? People are so close-minded.
I feel very lonely. I can't afford to live alone again.
Anyway, I don't want to live alone. What should I do?
-----Sincerely, A New Person.
Dearest New: My friend, I'm proud of you. You've
brought a gentle human magic to your little town---but
how can I tell you what I have to tell you without
giving you more pain? Darling, if Jenny the Elephant
was moved to a new zoo in (say) Toledo, Ohio, and
everybody in Toledo called Jenny bad names and shouted
filthy things at her, you would want to move Jenny to
another town, wouldn't you?
Well, sweet New . . . The same goes for you.
Because you could save a thousand little boys Columbia
and personally manufacture clean air all over the
Southern Hemisphere and knit a sweater for every single
human carcass on God's planet, and, darling, those
odious rubes would still make you as unhappy as
possible. You'll never be as alone as you are right now
in that awful place. GO, gentle New! Freedom, love,
dignity, and the whole messy world awaits you!
Dear E. Jean: I'm a writer, as yet unpublished; but
I'm a writer by blood, bone and nature. I'm presently
working on several projects, one of which I consider to
be my "starmaker," the book that will launch me to the
bestseller heavens. However, I procrastinate, I loaf, I
let my completed works gather dust on the shelves.
Why? My psychic said "because you're afraid to
succeed." True, perhaps; but my every waking moment is
consumed by imaginings of how I'll handle the book
tours, what I'll wear on Letterman, etc. I know beyond
all doubt that this is my destiny. So why do I dither
so?
My husband has remarked more than once that he's
afraid I'll leave him when I'm rich (or famous), a
confession which left me feeling that he can read my
mind. We've been together for five years and have an
excellent relationship. The sex gets better, I'm more
grounded in myself than ever before, yet I fear that my
longing for a new, free, single life will eclipse my
desire to remain married. I'm loathe to hurt him or
prove him right, but if I have to spend another
penniless year in retail, I'll throw myself in front of
the next outbound train.
This isn't a choice between him or me, is it? I
think if I had everything I wanted, I'd go hog-wild.
How can I make peace with my ambition? How can I know
that doing for myself won't do him in?----Brilliant
Author
Dear Brilliant: Blast your husband! Pick your best
manuscript, turn the goddamned thing in, and write to me
when you're actually on the best seller list. And then
we'll know what to do.
P.S. Meanwhile, get rid of that nutball psychic.
Dear E. Jean: What's the matter with me? I'm
twenty-two, I like men, I work with men, I have many
male friends. I just can't seem to find a man to fall
in love with. Am I a hopeless case? Or just too
picky?---Disturbed in Des Moines
My Darling Disturbed: Thunderation! You're
supposed to be picky, you silly baggage. If you
weren't, a gang of dorkheads would be loping through
your house right now, eating your Haagan Daz and
snapping your brassiere.
Dear E. Jean: I've done something really stupid. I
totally fell in love with John Kennedy. And I never even
met him. It's a weird story, but here it is:
I've been married for four years to an emotionally
distant man, who really doesn't have a clue. After a year
and a half of marriage, we started fertility treatments---the hormones, the waiting, the disappointment. I felt I was
giving up my whole life. That's when I began having
wonderful fantasies about JFK. The fantasies turned into a
daily life style. I was able to withstand hours of silence
from my husband or tumultuous changes at work by "being
with" my best friend, lover, confidante and admirer: you
know who.
I never even realized I had a problem until I heard that
he got married. Now, E. Jean, I'm a mature, responsible
female, I am in charge of hundreds of employees at work, I
keep up with family and friends. But when I found out about
the marriage, I lost it. How could this happen? I can't
seem to focus. My strength came from this imaginary
relationship. It got me through two miscarriages, two
surgeries, and a breast biopsy. John's helped me so much
and now I don't know where to go. And worst of all, I miss
him. I'm so happy for his big step, but my whole foundation
is crashing. What do I do now.----Crazy.
My dearest, dearest Crazy: Darling, John Kennedy Jr.
is a god (and Old E. Jean is ready to show him a good time
if he cares to write in). Fantasy life helps shield us from
the cruelties of reality; but it wasn't John Kennedy who got
you through your surgeries and your terrible miscarriages
(dear, I'm so sorry to hear of them); it wasn't your
"imaginary relationship" that allowed you to "withstand
hours of silence from (your) husband;" no----it was your own
strong, right, true, rambunctious grit. You're chock full
of it.
So, stop fretting. The only women who have a problem
are the idiotic chits who don't fantasize about JFK.
Indeed, John Kennedy embodies the age-old human myths of
Virility, Beauty and Hope. What joys he brings you---only
you can say; but take careful note of them. Write them down
. . . as if it's possible to capture love and adventure on
paper! but try. Because you can re-enter your "real" life
by acting out one little dream at a time, with a slightly
different twist----ie, you could run off to the beach with
your own husband, or save a homeless dog, or adopt a child,
or clamp on your roller blades and zaaaaappp around town
till you smell like burning rubber----the point is to commit
to something outside your own head.
And it probably wouldn't hurt to throw in a session or
two of couples counselling----you and your husband should
learn to talk to each other. And now let us raise a
margarita to John and Carolyn. Long may they love and
prosper! And live happily ever after!
Dear E. Jean: Have you read this book, "The Rules?"
It's gotten a lot of press lately. I think that a woman
who follows these rules is going to die lonely because
she can't speak to a guy she likes until he speaks to
her. It reminds me of children not being allowed to
speak. What do you think?----Not a Rules Girl.
My Divine Not: As it so happens, I've just been
sent a copy of "The Rules" and I'm just reading it this
very minute....Well!.....Huh!...........Geez!..........
.......................... ...................(Editor's Note: Regretfully, E. Jean
can not continue at this time. All the oxygen has been
sucked out of her brain due to her immoderate
screaming.)